If you’ve known me for more than a few months you won’t be surprised to hear this. I’m once again at this stage in my life where I have absolutely no idea where I will go next or what to do now. To be fair, I do have plans until the New Year. I know what I’ll be doing, or at least where I’ll be sleeping for the next month. Afterwards, it’s totally unknown.
Here is what I know:
- I have applied for a job, and may or may not be called for an interview before the holidays. I don’t think it’s very likely, but since I sent my resume, who knows.
- I went back in Scotland for a few days and it felt like I was back home. I’ve never had that feeling anywhere before. It’s kinda weird. And I’m not sure how to process that information.
- My parents are coming to celebrate Christmas with me in London. They leave on the 31st from Edinburgh.
- By the New Year, I’ll be back in Scotland, and a friend will need a housesitter for the end of January.
I’m currently balancing a few options, but I can’t seem to be able to decide on one.
I tend to reach this place in my life fairly regularly, and usually, while I’m busy doing my pros and cons list, something else comes up. I either meet someone who then introduces me to someone else or to a different website. Or I find a workaway or housesitting gig.
I do wonder now who I’ll meet in the next few months, or what new website, or challenge I’ll come across and how my life will turn out once again.
I really do like being open to opportunities because it always seems to be the best experiences I could have. I especially like it when it’s things I would have never guessed I could do or enjoy. Like the time I cycled from Chisinau to Odessa. Or when I joined the crew of the sailing vessel Infinity and ended up seeing penguins in Antarctica. I like surprising myself. However, there’s another side to surprising myself.
Doubting myself
I’ve talked and written about this before, but when I decide to try something new, I always have the same script running through my mind: ”I hope it’s the right decision. I’m once again jumping head first into the unknown.” Sometimes I feel quite serene and peaceful. Somewhat peaceful anyway. And sometimes I’m very happy I finally made a decision. But there’s always that lingering thought of: ”I only hope I won’t regret it.”
But usually, there’s only one way to find out.
Recently I have been learning a lot about facing changes and how to keep going when it seems nothing is actually going towards what I think is the right way. It does feel like there’s no other choice sometimes but to keep going, even though I do not know where I am even trying to go.
About six months ago, that feeling of having lost my North was both figurative and literal. I went to do a housesit in England. When I arrived, I quickly realised the owner had made a typo in the advert and it was only for five days and not five weeks as I had anticipated. I really didn’t know what to do.
I had no clue where to go with my life and I had absolutely no idea where to go in Britain. So I did the only thing I could think of. I went on a few websites I visit regularly to see what opportunities might now be available to me. That’s how I found a lovely hostel in Moldova looking for some help.
It was the opportunity I had been waiting for without even being aware of it. Buying a ticket to a different country where I don’t speak the language with only one day between the moment I decided to do that and the moment I sat on the plane did feel a little crazy if I’m being honest, but it also felt like I was truly living in that moment.
I could have easily broken down, panicked and simply give up on my idea of travelling the world and finding solutions to the problems as I would meet them. But I wasn’t ready to quit quiet yet. That’s when I decided on my new ‘mantra’:
No plan, no job, no housesit: no problem!
Butterflies in my tummy
Not having any plans, or always changing them can be very stressful. But that also can be very exciting. Having a blank slate to write the next chapter of my life is rather amusing. What will be next? Desert? Ice and snow? Goats? Working in an office and making money?
I love that familiar feeling in my tummy, the stress, and excitement of maybe changing my entire life once again!
Now I’m not all about making decisions without thinking about the consequences. Each and every one of my choices has been thought through. Safety risks, physical and mental health hazards, I do not leave everything to the unknown. I know myself and my capabilities. And I also know to lower my expectations.
In this world of social media where we show and see only the good side of things, it is good to remember that every single new aspect or activity in your life might bring some new difficulties. Maybe it is that you end up being on your own in a country and not understand the culture or the language. You may end up feeling lonely and depressed. Maybe the job is actually very boring half the time. Or your colleagues are horrible.
All of this are things you can’t really do much about to prepare for. But in time, you might look back and cherish that memory because not only you stepped outside of your comfort zone, but you might have met great new friends, or realised that yes, you could actually do it and see it through. This in itself tends to be how amazing moments are created.
Once I have found a new opportunity available for me, I’m usually back to my smiling self and I love it. This is the good part of not making life plans and keeping my opportunities open. You just never know where it will be coming from. And while it fills your life with stress, it also brings in excitement regularly.
Keeping my eyes and ears open
Now I’m not saying you have to quit your job, sell everything and go travel the world to find excitement. It is an option of course, but making your current life more exciting is actually easy. If you want it of course. Maybe there’s a new class at the sports centre, or maybe your favourite author is coming to present his new book at your local library. Maybe there’s a band you have yet to discover playing nearby tonight.
Whatever it is, keeping your eyes and ears open is how you will bring excitement in your life.
Calling out for new ideas
Do you have any ideas for my next amazing adventure? Do you know anyone looking for a cat or a goat sitter somewhere different? Or someone sailing across the world needing a couple of extra hands on deck? Whatever you can think of, all ideas are welcome!
